Facing a little reality

Most of those races I had planned on doing this year have had to be put on hold. I started writing, calling, and emailing people yesterday to cancel flights, hotels, and race entries. Although everyone has been extremely understanding, it is extremely difficult for me to handle knowing that all that I had planned for and worked for will not be happening and for the most part I will be watching all of my friends compete. The thing that is getting me through this tough time is knowing that I will someday compete in them again. The worst part though is that I am still in training mode - running and biking at least. I just want to get in as many miles as I possibly can before the surgery to ensure that I will be in great shape and have a rapid recovery after the surgery.

Next on the schedule, cutting my hair off next week. Joe and I discussed this and decided that in order to allow for him to take care of me and for me to ultimately take care of me, I cannot have the length of hair I currently have. So, I will be donating my long hair to locks of love and then going super short. If you have any ideas, send me pictures or ideas. This is also difficult as I love my hair right now and this makes having cancer even more of a reality.

I am finding a lot of hope and inspiration in a blog http://athletefightscancer.blogspot.com by Jen Hanks who is a professional mountain biker. I feel that I have found someone to identify with since our goals were very similar before we were diagnosed and after we were diagnosed. She has returned to professional racing and even though I am not a professional athlete, I am an athlete who needs this part of my being to be successful. She is also helping me make even more lists of questions to ask. Her success is extremely helpful to me as is Michele Wilkinson: http://gazettextra.com/news/2010/aug/31/michele-wilkinson-doesnt-allow-breast-cancer-slow-
I have to figure out how to contact these people to talk to them to help me out!