Oh the highs and lows of cancer treatment

I decided to make a list of some things that I learned the past few weeks: 1. I faced my first really challenging run on Sunday at the Winter Series. It was cold, windy, rainy, dark, and then sunny - typical day in the winter of upstate NY! I was alone the entire 15K (1 hr 43 min 21 sec). It was extremely lonely. I remembered the mental determination that I had during Ironman during this run. 2. Listening to Lance Armstrong talk about "Winning at all cost" I realized I understand that feeling. I have such a drive to make sure that I complete an Ironman because that is how I know I have conquered cancer. There are moments that I wish that I could be content finishing a half marathon, but that is just not me. The difference between me and Lance is that I won't cheat. I will work my butt off - literally, I want to get rid of the junk in the truck I have acquired during cancer treatment. 3. My MUGA scan came back lower than it had been 12 weeks ago. I went into the test knowing I feel pretty good so I thought it was pretty much unnecessary - maybe a little cocky. It was 61.6% while 12 weeks ago it was 66.7%, 24 weeks ago it was 63.2% and 65.7% pre-chemo. This was disappointing. It is still great heart function but not what I expected. I was told by a friend that after Herceptin is over my heart will grow 5 times it's size like the Grinch had happen! Hope so. 4. My hemoglobin levels are finally back to normal. Possibly because I ate beef a couple times this past week because I was really craving it. 5. I stopped taking Tamoxifen. I am really tired for multiple reasons including that I am not sleeping well due to side effects. I was in so much pain just holding onto the steering wheel of my car that it just wasn't worth it. 6. I got to hear how my 8 yr old niece Kaelah sees me since she wrote an essay on me for a contest. She had to write an essay on a female athlete that she admires and she chose me. It was really good. I loved listening to her read it to me and to see how an 8 yr old views her aunt. 7. I made the best meal of my life last week! It was blue cheese encrusted steak with a red wine shallot sauce with green beans and potatoes. It was mouth-wateringly good!!! 8 I am uber competitive. This girl ran past me in the race on Sunday and I tried to go with her (even though I was not going to win, I don't like being passed) but I couldn't keep her pace. Then she had a gap on me and stopped. I wanted to yell "RUN". I wanted to run after her, catch her and then spit her out when I passed her. I love the competitive drive that I still feel. She started running again and I just didn't have the distance to catch her but next time... Watch out! 9. I only have 15 weeks of cancer treatment left!!! How exciting.