6 months

6 months ago today... My life changed. I received a phone call while I was on the way to a faculty meeting. My friends Heather and Jeanne saw the look of concern as I navigated my way to a more private area through the flow of teachers headed to the meeting and followed me. During that phone call, my entire world was collapsing around me and they comforted me. I was told I had cancer. In the 6 months that have followed, a lot has happened. I have had surgery, made my way through 5 out of 6 rounds of chemotherapy, and 13 out of 52 weeks of Herceptin. I have relied on friends and family for things I never thought I would have to rely on them for. I have had allergic reactions to anti-nausea medications which really sucks as I am relying on only one anti-nausea medication to get me through chemotherapy. I have lost all of those beautiful Ironman muscles and gained between 15 and 20 lbs - I am very unhappy about this. I have had to deal with a fear that I would never have thought I would have had to deal with - the fear of losing myself, the fear of having chemo effect my heart, the fear of losing my ability to run, swim, and bike like I used to especially since I made decisions with regards to surgery to keep those as an integral part of my life. I was training for an Ironman - which is really hard but in the last 6 months I have learned a new level of hard. In Ironman training, I know exactly what distances or times I have to accomplish on that day. I know that there is an end to each and every workout. Chemotherapy and cancer have no definite ends when it comes to feeling nauseous or keeping my RBCs up. I have no idea sometimes how my body will react to the chemo drugs. This is harder than any Ironman I have completed. I have had to watch people around me do things that I love to do and not be able to join in. I have no hair (looking pretty bad-ass if I do say so myself so I don't see this as a bad thing). I have had to try to learn to roll with the punches - this is really hard when all of your life you were a planner. I have had to change how I live life. BUT... I am grateful to have an amazing support system starting with my husband. He has had to deal with me and my crazy a lot more as chemo has progressed. I am so happy to have people around me who love and support me. Without the fabulous people around me, my life would be very different. I love my life even with all of the things in my life that are not quite as I would have designed them. I have a lot of people who are pulling for me and I can't wait to move through this and make them proud. I can't wait to have them at my side or at the finish lines of all of my races in the future because they will have had as much a part of my success as I have. I have been called an "inspiration". I don't know about that. I am just a girl who wants to be me again and will work really hard for that. I honestly believe that any Ironman in my position would do exactly what I do on a daily basis to get themselves back to where they had planned to go. We talk about 2014 Ironman all of the time and many people are in with me on that 2014 journey. I work everyday just to get back to being me. I have asked my body to try every day and have allowed myself to say yes or no to different situations, but I try every day! 6 months ago today, my life changed. BUT... THE BEST IS YET TO COME!