5 year anniversary - this is for my husband and your significant others

June 30, 2007 - I married the man I loved! June 30, 2012 - Joe and I will have been married for 5 years! Although we have been together for 17 yrs, we have managed to fall more in love over those 5 years. I can say that I love my husband for all that he has become, all that he has and will do, and everything that he does for me. Doing 5 marathons, 2 Ironmen, and many other races during the past 7 years has made us even closer since we have embraced our shared passions to the fullest extent. This year means even more to me. I was given the first news that I may have had cancer at a routine doctors appointment on February 1, 2012, which was my husbands 33rd birthday. Someone recently said and I agree with them, that this was the best birthday present I could have given my husband - early detection. Because my doctors and I were aware of my risk factors, I was screened early for what was originally thought to be nothing. The phone call I got on February 13 that told me I had cancer changed our lives forever. Joe was not the first to know because I was at work (one of my first questions was "how do you tell your husband you have cancer?") but when I called him, he immediately became my rock, my support, my cheerleader. I will be here with Joe by my side for many years to come because of those dates. This anniversary allows us to not only enjoy the moment but also know that cancer will not take me from him anytime soon or hopefully ever. I am grateful for all of the people around me who are giving me the gift of life through early detection, surgery, treatment, and support. I love this life we have built and am not ready to leave it because we have a lot to accomplish. As Michael Buble said in our wedding song, "...I found strength in you, Cause in my mind you will stay here always in love, you and I... In my mind, we can conquer the world, In love you and I..." We were supposed to be celebrating our anniversary by doing the Tupper Lake Tinman this weekend together. Joe is still doing it and I get to be his lovely cheerleader. This may not be the perfect way we planned it but I will be there and when I do make a comeback, Joe will be my biggest supporter! He will cherish the moment I cross the finish line at my first race with a smile on his face, a big hug and kiss, and probably a tear in his eye because he knows how much this means to me. This means to us. It means I'm back. It means WE are back! This is how marriage is supposed to be. I said these words and I meant every one of them: "For better or worse. For sickness and in healthy." My message to all of you is to do self exams, go to your yearly appointments and have breast exams, call your doctor if you feel something different, get a mammogram when it is indicated for your age, family history, or condition, get a breast ultrasound if you have fibrous breasts, and be proactive about your health. Your loved ones will thank you for this! I wish this disease on no one! It is hard to fight through it but the earlier you find cancer, you give yourself the best chance to treat it and give you the best chance for survival. Do this for yourself. Do it for the ones you love! Happy Anniversary Joe! I love you more and more each and every day! On Saturday we celebrate all we have accomplished and will accomplish together. We have a fabulous future ahead of us with some mountains that are gorgeous to view from the bottom, hard to climb, but rewarding to relax on and enjoy the view. I love you!

1/2 way done with chemo and 13% done with herceptin

I decided to write on my type of cancer to clarify some things. I was diagnosed with stage 1 grade 3 ductal carcinoma. The method of treatment is surgery including lymphnode dissection. This alone does not mean I would have needed chemotherapy and herceptin. My cancer was Estrogen (ER) receptor and progesterone (PR) receptor positive (I scored a 100% here which is great!). This means that my cancer cells bind to estrogren and progesterone and will divide more quickly based on the presence of these hormones in my body. My cancer was also HER2+ (this is also a receptor on my cells) having an overabundance of these receptors allows it to be a very aggressively dividing cancer. On a positive side, there are two targeted treatments for these receptors. One is Herceptin - Herceptin targets HER2+ receptor and destroys these cancer cells. Herceptin is given in weekly doses over the course of 1 year through my blood stream. One is Tamoxifen - Tamoxifen targets ER and PR positive cells and slows or does not allow them to divide. I do not start Tamoxifen until after I am done with chemotherapy. Speaking of chemotherapy, I became eligible/in need of chemotherapy when my cancer came back as grade 3 (more aggressive) and HER2 positive. The combination of the chemotherapy drugs (Taxotere and Carboplatin) and Herceptin and the follow up treatment of Tamoxifen give me the best chance of making a full recovery from cancer and increase my probability for remission for many years to come. The chemo drugs Taxotere and Carboplatin are given to me every 21 days for 6 rounds. These are the drugs that give me the worst side effects or the commonly known chemotherapy side effects. On a positive side, because I had no lymphatic involvement, I do not need radiation treatment when I am done with chemo! After tomorrow, I am 1/2 way done with my chemotherapy treatments! If you read the last post and are an Ironman, a friend or family member of an Ironman, or a person who loves Ironman (doesn't everyone) in my analogy I would be done with the 2.4 mile swim and 56 miles of the bike! If we are talking about the Lake Placid Ironman, this means I only have to get out of Lake Placid on the hills, take a beautifully fast ride down the Keene hills, take a leisurely ride into Ausable Forks, and then climb back into Placid over the shoulder of Whiteface and through the notch. I will know I am close to the finish when I head up the bears toward the transition area! Surprisingly this is very similar to my cancer treatment effects. I've done it countless times before so I can do it again now in a different arena. We administered the drugs differently this time around though to pinpoint my allergic reaction that I have been having. We decided not to give another anti-nausea medication because we are pretty sure it is that which is giving me hives. We decided to give me my other anti-nausea med (Emend), Herceptin, and Taxotere today only as we know Herceptin doesn't bother me so if I get hives tonight it is either Emend or Taxotere. Tomorrow we give me carboplatin and then we head back to camp and hope I do not have hives again. We have also upped my steroid and benadryl to prevent any allergic reaction. Fingers crossed this will work. This means I get two needle sticks in one week which I am not excited about but what are you going to do. Without the extra anti-nausea med we are trying a non-drug method of anti-nausea prevention using a little device I wear around my wrist which gives off little electrical pulses and pushes on a pressure point which is supposed to follow the acupressure principles. Since acupuncture seems to be working it was worth a try for this. I have also completed 13.5% (7 out of 52)of my Herceptin treatments! Those are hour long appointments and a breeze so no worries with them right now! In other news: 1. I received my genetic test back and am BRCA2 positive - this is the same gene my mother has but I know it is not solely the reason I got cancer when I did. We can discuss this at a later time after I have another meeting with the genetics counselor in September. 2. I was told on Friday by my surgeon that my incision looks completely healed! Yippie! He also said that I could "Return to all normal physical activities." Which prompted Shauna to ask "Normal activities for who..you? Or Regular people?" That wasn't clarified in the appointment so I say ME! My next appointment was with my oncologist who said "Just find your limits and don't do too much. You will know and I will know when you have over done it." 3. Thusly I went out in Lake Placid and rode up Mirror Lake Drive, down the bears on 86 to River Road, out and back on River Road and back up the 5 hills to town! It was 15.42 miles in 1 hr 15 min! I figure I will use this experience when I'm on mile 106 of my bike during Ironman 2014 and say to myself, "In life there are hills.." wait that is Melinda's song. I meant, "I did this when I was going through chemo, I can do this easily now! Suck it up and go." Of course there would be expletives in there but I don't know who is reading this! I also did this course so I could feel like an Ironman again, on the Ironman course, with other Ironmen who were passing me extremely easily. But that is ok, I was on the Ironman course again! 4. Running is really difficult but I am doing it! My disappointment lies with the fact that I am putting in the runs but I am not getting faster and they are not getting easier but then I think, "I am going through chemo and RUNNING! That's amazing!" I can't wait till I can go back to running faster than 12 min miles and more than 30 minutes without feeling like I must stop. 5. Do to unforeseen circumstances, I am making the trek home weekly for treatment as my planned destination in the Adirondacks did not work out. This is a long story and not meant for a blog so we can discuss later if you want to. This makes me feel like I am ruining our summer but I keep reminding myself it's only one year and we will be back to "normal" next June! 6. I am going back to work in September in a part time position. There were many factors involved in this decision but ultimately it will be the best move for me. It will be very different but in the long run I know this will give me some structure I need and allow my brain to work in a different way which will be important to my recovery. 7. My diet is crazy right now! I am craving fatty, salty, cheesy foods which are not the things I ever craved before. I have gained about 6 lbs. This is all due to the steroids they are giving me to keep my body from having a reaction to the chemo meds. They make me ravenous and crave crazy things. I have to force myself to eat well on days and other days I just let myself indulge in these cravings. Between the hunger, the much less activity than I am used to, and the quality of food I am eating it is not surprising I am gaining weight but it is making me angry. I keep being told to give myself a break and I will lose it quickly after but I hate working to lose weight. My nutritionist was excited I gained weight though because it means I am giving myself a cushion to roll back on later in chemo treatments just in case. And when I say a cushion, I mean a spare tire around my midsection! On a positive side, I am getting some muscles back slowly! Joe told me last week when I was craving a cheeseburger to just eat it since I already have digestive issues I wouldn't notice a difference. So I ate a couple in the past two weeks. I haven't eaten red meat since last August! We think I am craving the Iron and B vitamins since my Red Blood Cell count is down. I would love to want to eat spinach or other veggies instead but spinach tastes bad to me right now so I won't eat much of it if it is an option. I think I may go back to my vegetarian ways after I am done with chemo just to detoxify my system! But for now, I am giving in to what my body craves to a point. I do call the line at eating at 2:30 am when I am starving! I think that is all for today. Yes, I am up at 1:25 am but it is because my steroids keep me wide awake at night.