2014 in review

2014 started with tons of goals and expectations. I was signed up for my 1st Ironman post cancer. We were headed to our first race outside of the US. I entered the first full year without cancer treatment since 2012. There were high hopes for 2014! 2014 lived up to all of the hype. I became a television star!! Ok, not quite a TV star but I was in a commercial, a print ad, and on a billboard!

A PR in the BAA 5K in April!

Then Joe PRed at the Boston Marathon. Then I PRed in the half marathon as part of the Vermont City Marathon Relay with Joe. We had a great time at the Lake Placid Half marathon. Training with my team! There were highs and lows, laughing, crying, worrying, hard work and determination. We had a lot of fun while training!

Joe and I raced Ironman 70.3 Mont Tremblant in June. This was huge for Joe - he qualified for Ironman 70.3 World Championships and PRed at the race. Mont Tremblant is a beautiful place to visit and race and we can't wait to go back. Then came Ironman Lake Placid. This was the race I waited for ever since February 13, 2012, when I found out my 2012 race wasn't going to happen. This race meant the world to me. All day I had a smile on my face. It wasn't the perfect day - getting pulled from the swim while I was on target to swim the best 2.4 miles of my life, the thunder storm that just followed us for the 1st 30 miles of the bike, and the need to push harder than I had planned on the bike because of the cold rain... But it was a phenomenal day with another PR for the year. I took my finish line back and felt like I was finally back to being me.

We enjoyed some time on vacation together in the sun in celebration of our accomplishment!

We went back to Mont Tremblant in September for Joe to compete in the 70.3 World Championships and saw amazing accomplishments there. What a blast to watch! I loved cheering on my super fast husband in a race most people will never get to race in. Those pros were awesome! The entire experience was fantastic. What a great way to end the summer! The PRs kept coming: 15K at Stockadeathon, 10K at the Troy Turkey Trot, Half marathon at Philly Half! I became obsessed with hot yoga. I have embraced barre classes. I watched my nieces become IronKids. I loved that it was a family affair at the Turkey trot with Sierra and Kaelah doing the kids race, Joe and I doing the 10K, and Lila, my dad, and I ran the 5K together while being cheered on my my mom, Joe, and my sister! I wanted this crazy, athletic, lifestyle back and I went out and took it back! I had a fantastic year. I struggle with the idea that I didn't get to finish the swim at Ironman and, thus, never really did the 2.4 mile swim necessary to be called an Ironman. I did run the extra distance barefoot and survived the elements but I didn't finish the swim... I struggle with the idea of not doing another Ironman this year because of that and because last time I decided to take a year off from Ironman, I didn't get to do that Ironman due to cancer. Although we do have a plan! Rock N Roll Marathon in Washington DC for me in March. Ironman 70.3 Syracuse in June. Hopefully, Ironman 70.3 Princeton in September. Potentially an ultramarathon in October or a marathon in early November. I have found that life is pretty complete with Joe. Here are the year end totals!!! Swim: 128,321 yrds in 54 hrs 46 min Bike: 1,622 miles in 134 hrs 1 min Run: 755 miles in 135 hrs 22 min Racing: 263 miles in 31 hrs 25 min Hot yoga, barre: 37 hrs 36 min That is a pretty solid year! I can only hope that 2015 can hold as much fun and excitement as 2014! The miles along the way will be fun!

Prior to Ironman Post 1 of 2

All of these months of training lead to 7/27/2014, IRONMAN day! The weeks leading up to Ironman I was afraid, excited, worried, petrified, in general all over the emotional board. I was so excited that this was happening though. We had such a great week before Ironman. I knew this was a special race for me for multiple reasons. This year, not only was I doing the race I wasn’t able to do in 2012, but I was doing this with a team and a coach. Everything about this experience was different from the 2009 and 2010 races I had done because of these people. They were all excited for their races and mine and the feeling was mutual. Leading into this race I knew that my coach had set me up really well for the race of my life but I still struggled on the bike and wasn’t feeling as confident in my swim as I had wanted to. I had expectations and I was trying to push them aside and just enjoy the experience but I just couldn’t. I wanted to succeed because I put in so much more time and effort than I had for the other two and I wanted my comeback to be better than the last two experiences. I was really concerned about the bike cutoff but I knew I had done all I could to get myself to the finish line. Ironman isn’t just one day, it is a multi-day extravaganza highlighted by the race on Sunday. This is my journey! Thursday – Check-in: I was so excited about getting my Ironman blue jewelry! I loved that most of the team went together to get their bracelet with us. I had worked registration in the past so I knew what time to go and have no line so it was literally just our team getting their swim caps, stickers, and timing chips! That blue bracelet meant I made it to the race. I was excited! We then went shopping! Well, Joe and I wandered around and only bought a couple of cow bells and a towel with our names on it. Our team loco tent ended up becoming a nice place to hang out for the rest of the afternoon too! That afternoon brought a very helpful message from my friend Missy. She knew I was struggling with confidence when it came to the race. She sent me the message I sent her before her first Ironman. I read it and was so excited again. I basically wrote myself my own pep talk in 2011! I didn’t even know that I had done that for myself. I needed this little reminder of all of the amazing things that an Ironman can hold and I got excited again. Friday – Speedo /Underwear run, phone booth photos, IronKids run, dinner, and welcome ceremony: Friday morning we met for some pictures and then walked down to the NormaTech booth in the oval. They allowed us to sit in their lovely chairs and go through the cycle of a NormaTech massage. It was perfect. I would love those. It was great! My legs and back felt so much better after this! We then did the Speedo run with the Buffalo Tri team. This was a blast! Super slow running while dressed in pink striped knee-high socks, pink running shorts, a striped pink sports bra, fairy wings, and a pink boa! This was just fun and I needed fun to take my mind off of the race. After the race, the girls packed up their stuff and went down to the Upper Jay phone booth and took pictures. Yet again, a great fun time that was distracting from the long day that lay ahead on Sunday. Then there was the IronKids race. My nieces had modified their Team Loco shirts so they looked fierce! They were all going to run the mile on Mirror Lake Drive. IronKids gives some pretty nice swag too – each kid got a cowbell, a t-shirt, a bumpersticker that said IronKid, m-dot temporary tattoo, a drawstring bag, and a bracelet for $15. Plus, they had Mike Reilly starting each race and bringing them home saying “You are an IronKid!” All of the kids had no idea how much we adults really want Mike Reilly to say our names at the end of an Ironman and he is standing in the chute with them and high fiving and they have no idea how exciting this is! The girls all rocked and had a blast. It was so much fun! Then we went to dinner with a few of the local athletes to talk about the day and share in the excitement of the event. Joe and I then went to the Welcome ceremony which was completely different than it had been in the past. At this point, I was really stressing out over the bags which had to be put into transition on Saturday so we went home and tried to make sure everything was together and get some sleep. Saturday Saturday is always a stressful day for me before Ironman. Do I have all of my things? Did I put my running shoes in the bag? How can I make sure these things don’t get wet in the rain that is coming? I just wanted to get my bike ride over with and check things in. Shauna and Colin arrived while we were in the thick of Joe’s power meter not working and my mental chaos. Biked 20 min – I just needed off. Dropped off bags and bikes. Swam 20 min and realized that I incorporated something that Mark and Joe pointed out about my swim stroke on Wednesday and it was immediately helpful – yup, I learned how to swim better the day before Ironman. We showed Shauna and Colin how to get around and went home to distress (because that was possible).

Ironman Lake Placid 2014 Race Report Post 2 of 2

Sunday – Race day Woke up nice and early at 4 am. Joe had music playing immediately. We tried to eat , applied race tats (courtesy of Liam), and I sang. This actually kept me calm while looking at the radar and realizing that we were going to be hit with a thunderstorm hopefully after we were out of the water. We quickly were ready and out the door to walk the mile to the swim start. When we arrived at the Team Loco tent after dropping our special needs bags off, there was a mass of people there. It was great to know that all of these people were either doing the race or cheering for us. I was pretty frantic at this point. This race meant so much to me. Wetsuit went on. Grace told me I couldn’t cry. One of my biggest supporters, Sierra (8), told me “Don’t doubt yourself, Kelly. You are ready for this!” (Coach Jamie should watch out for this one – she gives Joe training advice and gives me pep-talks! She will be the next Ironman coach!) And then we were off to the swim start. The swim start was odd for me. This is my first time with the new wave start. The cannon goes off and I go nowhere quickly. We stand around for a while. I positioned myself at the end of the 1:21 to 1:30 group because based on my swim times in training this is where I belonged. It took us about 20 min to get into the water. The woman next to me and I were singing “Call Me Maybe!” And then it was time to get in the water. The chaos began almost immediately. The pull from all of those people in the water was amazing. The pull was bringing you directly on the cable too. But this was where the arms and legs were flying. The new swim start immediately presented a problem as well – those who did not seed themselves in the right place. I was having major issues getting to people who were not swimming the pace they claimed they were capable of. I also was shocked by how many people were treating this swim as if they were in a boxing ring – I’ve never seen arms flailing with such power before and legs were coming sideways with large leg swings. I was in an Ironman competition, right? That type of leg kick is unnecessary. Within the first 10 min of the swim, I got an uppercut to the jaw. It came out of nowhere. It hurt and left me stunned. I kept swimming though trying to remain calm. Then the 1st turn happened. I got pummeled and swallowed a ton of water and just was struggling to maintain my calm. I couldn’t find any open water where I could get into a good swim position. I had my first moment of the day where I thought I wasn’t going to make it out of the swim. I had to again convince myself that I just needed to get back to swimming and I would settle down. I did! I tried to find some open space off of the line but every time I got some space, I would get pulled back toward the line. I finally decided to just stay on the inside of the line and deal with the people. Then about 5 min from the end of the first loop, I got kicked in the left ribs/abs – wow, that hurt. Somehow this actually just made me angry and I somehow got out of a group right at the end of the first loop. I I swam the first loop in a 42:56 which is the fastest I have ever swam a loop! I got out of the water, waved like a lunatic so my family could see me (I knew they weren’t looking for me but I choose to believe that they were.) I went back into the water found my spot on the inside of the line. I got onto someone’s feet (not flailing, side kicking, feet, just nice gentle fluttering feet) and made my way along pretty well. I felt like I was flying. Still getting pummeled here and there by people’s hands and feet. The amount of people who scratched my feet during this swim was crazy – people need to keep their nails shorter!!! At some point it started to rain but, heck, I’m already in the water so rain is just more water. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, then “SWIM TO SHORE!!!!!” All feet in front of me went down. Everyone was stopping. All I saw was confused faces. Then I realized that there was a boat in front of me and kayaks all around and we were being yelled at to “SWIM TO SHORE!!!” We all just looked at them like – shore is ahead of us, why are you blocking our way? Then we heard and saw it all at the same time – lightning spidering its way across the sky and the accompanying thunder that was immediate. We all put our heads in the water and swam as fast as possible to shore. There were other athletes on the dock helping people out of the water since there was only 1 ladder and there were hundreds of us. By the time I got on the dock, I was in tears. This was the second time I thought my day was over and I had no control over this one. We all moved off the dock and waited for someone to tell us what to do. More lightning, thunder, rain. For some reason, I don’t know why, we knew we needed to get to the street and go to transition. We walked up this random person’s driveway to Mirror Lake Drive. We started running down the road toward transition. We were greeted by volunteers running toward us yelling us to go to transition and get on our bikes. So I take off the top of my wetsuit. I’m running down Mirror Lake drive, barefoot, as fast as I can. It hurt!!! There are not nice pointy parts of the road and we were in barefeet and I was sprinting!!! I got out of the water around 30 min into my 2nd loop. I got to transition with a total of 40:58 for the second loop and the running. I swam about ¾ of the second loop. I was on pace to swim a 1:25ish swim. In my last Ironman I had done a 1:34 so I was well on pace to beat my time. We were running to transition but I knew there was no entrance to transition from where we were coming from. When we arrived at just below the tennis courts they had just opened up the chute and were allowing us to go in that was. I was so disappointed that my swim was cut short and then I was rushing to get back on track! T1: Transition was chaos (not that anything from being yelled at to this point was calm but this was just chaos). They had gotten about 1000 to 1500 athletes out of the water at the exact same time and we all were headed to transition. Add to that the fact that there was a huge thunder and lightning storm. The volunteers were being rearranged as we were entering to help us out. Wetsuit strippers were in transition to help us get our wetsuits off. I could hear my family yelling for me but all I needed to do was figure out what was going on with all of these people around me. I retrieved my bike bag and waded through the oval into the change tent. Yes, waded – there was calf deep water in parts of the change tent. It was so crowded athletes were asking if they could just change outside of the tent – yes, get naked in the oval so that they had space. I was running through the tent trying to find a spot when Amanda grabbed my shoulders, yelled “KELLY!!!” and then left the tent. She refocused me to get my mind where it needed to be. I found a small space and started to change. I even put sunscreen on because, hey, you never know. I knew the radar had said that by 9:30 the rain should be out of here and if there is sun, I will burn. There were literally hundreds of women in this tent trying to navigate the what to wear while it was raining. I elected to not wear the raincoat but the arm sleeves and my bike jersey. I left the tent screaming my number over and over but the volunteers were just overwhelmed with us heading through transition and they were trying so hard to get everyone what they needed. The volunteers in transition were running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to get us what we needed but there were just too many of us to keep up. I left transition in about 11 min. I was finally accounted for in Ironman’s eyes since they had no idea where I was between the end of my 1st loop and my exit onto the bike. Bike I looked at my watch and I realized I had 9 hours to finish the bike. This was my #1 concern – making the bike cutoff. When I saw I had 9 hrs, I knew I was going to be an Ironman today as long as I didn’t have any major issues along the way. We started with a long downhill in the driving rain – well, this could be interesting, I couldn’t see anything. I could hear my name being yelled but I had no idea who it was. I ate almost immediately and planned to follow Coach Jamie’s plan of eating every 10 to 15 min on the bike. It was just pouring rain and there was thunder and lightning everywhere. As we were climbing out all I heard was “Go loco!” All of the thousand of us were now exiting transition at the same time and everyone seemed to know someone on our team or they commented that “All of us should be on team loco today!” I saw a bolt of lightning and heard a massive rumble of thunder as I was climbing out of Placid. I was trying to figure out how this was safe. Everything in my mind told me this was dangerous. I actually remembered the guy who had recently finished an ultra trail run after being hit by lightning so I figured I could do that too! NORMAL PEOPLE SEEK SHELTER IN THESE TYPES OF STORMS – NOT IRONMEN! I actually recalled Coach Jamie telling me “You didn’t sign up for an Easyman. You signed up for an Ironman.” After the fact, my sister showed me the alert for all spectators in the Lake Placid area warning of the severe line of thunder storms that were going to pass over and how they should seek shelter immediately. I realized on the climb out that we were not only in the storm but following it down the hill. Lots of lightning, lots of driving rain. We started going down the Keene descent in the driving rain – oh that hurt. I started noticing a weird rattle and realized it was my teeth chattering because I was freezing. This was the third time I thought I wouldn’t finish the day. I probably should have worn my raincoat. I needed it to stop raining because I was really, really cold. I passed Grace on the descent and she looked as cold as I felt. Plus, it was scary going down the hill with so many people at the same time and in the rain. People like to take risky moves and I was afraid if they fell they were going to take me out too. I got down to the flats and just started eating and pushing so that I could get warm. I started singing “Rain, rain go away” while biking because I just needed to get warm. Grace caught back up to me and we chatted about how her swim was cut short too. I sang “Call me maybe” to her since it was on repeat in my head since the swim start. She rode away from me because she hated that song! We saw Sara and Danny on the Ausable Forks out and back. It finally stopped raining about 2 hrs into the bike and my hands were beginning to not be blue anymore. The rest of the loop was pretty standard. I rode up papa bear and Leigh was there and I told her a secret – “I am going to be an Ironman again today!” I saw my family and friends when we came back into town and all things were better immediately. I rode the first loop in 4:09! I was thrilled with this. The second loop stated warmer than the 1st. I saw Dave, Mary, Billy, and Bob. I was climbing near the hostel and Amanda and Lisa were on the side of the road – we had a little chat as I was going up the hill! The descent went extremely well this time – it was dry!!! Grace and I found each other once again. We talked a little then she would go ahead of me. The second loop was pretty standard. I was a little afraid that I was pushing too hard and that it would impact my run but I kept hearing Danny tell me how to ride when we rode together a couple weeks earlier. Grace and I turned into Wilmington at about the same time and it started raining again (thunder, lightning, the works). There may have been some profanity between the two of us but I will not confirm or deny that. Then as we started to climb near the flume, my chain fell off. Got off, fixed, back on the bike. Grace turned to me when I caught up and told me that I was having a rocking bike and I just couldn’t believe it was happening. I had eaten potatoes, bananas, Honey Stinger waffles, or pineapple every 10 to 15 min the entire time. I had been drinking my skratch nutrition the entire time. I had 3 bottles of water on top of that. I felt great. Grace and I entered transition right next to one another. I was also excited that I had biked an 8:19:11! My fastest bike had been an 8:35 in the previous two Ironman’s that I had done! I knew that if I could keep myself together for the run, I could PR big time and maybe even hit my goal of a low 15 hour Ironman! T2: Transition was fine. I had a volunteer that put my socks and shoes on for me!!! There was a volunteer that put sunscreen on my back under my tri top so that if I moved my top, I wouldn’t burn! I thanked the volunteers for helping me in the 6:41 in transition and I was off running! Run When I started running the first thing I thought was “I think my shoes are on the wrong feet.” I just kept looking down to figure out why my shoes were feeling so weird. I saw and heard my nieces so excited about me being done with the bike. I went out faster than I wanted to 11 min 1st mile. I tried to settle in. I saw Bob, Mary, Dave, and Billy again! I was super excited about being on the run! Almost immediately I saw Joe running toward me. I knew this meant that he smashed his previous PR and I was greeted with a huge smile! Now I could just enjoy my day knowing that Joe rocked his! I then saw Rob and was greeted with a big smile. Liam, probably the biggest smile I saw out there. Clay and Mark – same thing. Jeremiah – same thing. Steve – oh, Steve was just so happy he was going to be an Ironman and that was contagious! Sara told me how excited she was to see me out there. Danny was ecstatic as always. Grace had a big smile on her face. My team knew this was a huge deal for me as well as for them and they loved seeing me out there with them since I wasn’t able to do it in 2012. They made me happy! As I kept running though I just didn’t feel great. This is the fourth time I was thinking I wasn’t going to make it to that finish line by midnight. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I wasn’t nauseous. I didn’t want to eat anything I had though either. I didn’t want to drink the Skratch nutrition I was carrying. I knew my plan was to start drinking coke on the 2nd loop of the run and didn’t want to start earlier than that but my intestines were very bloated. I stopped twice to see if I just needed to use the bathroom. I was hydrated well – I knew this. I just kept running because I kept saying this will pass. I told Joe I felt like crap when I passed him after the 1st loop. He looked so happy with his finish and was now cheering for me – it was really exciting to see him there. At the first aid station out of town I had chicken broth and coca cola. Then Mary came and ran along with me for a little way. It was all I needed to keep myself going. The combination of Mary’s excitement and the sugar and salt from the nutrition was great. The next aid station I had more chicken broth and coca cola. These things were like the nectar of the gods! All things were getting better. I just kept running and telling myself that I came here trained to run a marathon so I was going to run a marathon! I kept running between aid stations, walking aid stations and taking in water, coke and chicken broth and then running again. I saw Sara again and sang to her (“I Could Be your Payback! Let me lean you way back!) I saw Grace again and she was still smiling. I saw Sara again and she told me “I love you!” and I yelled back “Go make that finish line your bitch!” (You can see which one of us is more lady like!) Grace was told to go get her Ironman! She still had a huge smile on her face! Life was still moving along. I saw Bob at one of the aid stations and he got so excited to see me he gave me such a big hug he lifted me off the ground! I kept moving – nothing hurt anymore. I came to run a marathon, so I was running this marathon. I knew I was looking at a low 15 hour Ironman at this point and I just wanted to chip away at the time and try to make it as low 15 as I possibly could. The glow sticks were handed out. I could hear Mike Reilly tell people they were Ironmen and so I started muttering to myself “You are an Ironman! You are an Ironman! When is it my turn to be an Ironman?” I kept running. I got up the Horse Show hill and found Dave on his bike looking for me. I kept running. He was asking me questions and then all of a sudden said “Kelly, do you know you just passed 15 people?” I just wanted to keep running – I wanted to hear Mike Reilly tell me I was an Ironman immediately. I just kept hearing people cheering for me because I was one of the few that was still running. I saw my nieces and sister. Kaelah started running with me singing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” changing the lyrics to her Ironman version. I kept running. I just kept getting faster. I wanted to get to that finish line really badly. I had a perpetual smile on my face by this time too. I realized I think it had been there all day long. I was so psyched to be back here where I belonged. I ran into the oval. Found Joe with Grace, Rob, Leigh, Shauna and Colin. I ran over to Joe and gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. He lifted me off the ground and told me to go find the finish line! I heard the crowd cheering and just was so excited. “Kelly Sullivan, 35……..” Mike waited for me to cross that finish line then finished “YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!” I ran a 5:20:45 and negative split the marathon after doing 112 miles and a mixture of swimming and barefoot sprinting 2.4 miles! Total time of 15:20:20! Almost a full hour faster than my last one.

The after: In the week after I was both excited and disappointed. I didn’t get to finish the swim of an Ironman. This was completely out of my control but still I didn’t do the whole 2.4 miles and some of the things said on the internet were pretty mean spirited toward those of us who “Didn’t make the cut.” I basically had a day where I swam 2.2 miles, climbed a ladder, off-roaded barefoot for a little, sprinted .2 miles barefoot (actually the road is longer than the swim so I probably did more than that distance), transitioned, did 112 miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running. I think that sounds harder than an Ironman both mentally and physically. If I had started up in the swim start where I didn’t belong, I probably would have finished my swim because people completed the swim in 1:25 who did that but I didn’t. In my comeback race, things went a little crazy. I am proud of my day. I also know that I must do another (2016 just not sure where yet) so that I can affirm to myself that I could do the distances as they were set out to be done. I feel great that I accomplished my goal and smashed what I thought I would do on that day though. I am an Ironman! Thank you: My coach Jamie Boward at Mercury Endurance is one of the main reasons I could have done this. He believed in my abilities and trained me to do this well. I did everything he asked of me to make sure I was prepared but he set me up for success. My husband Joe is also a big reason I did this well. He knew I was in the best shape of my life and believed in me. My team(more of a family than a team) made this so much more fun to train for and to participate in because we were all in this together. Thank you to all of you for making this experience so special. To the volunteers, you rocked. And to our spectators – just WOW! You were so motivating and made me excited to get back into town! Thank you to you all! This day was just unbelievable and unforgettable.

Ironman Mont Tremblant 70.3

I have had a very exciting few months leading up to this race. Training for Ironman has been time consuming, exhausting, painful, mentally challenging, and rewarding. I have PRed in the BAA 5K in April running a 27:05. I PRed in the half marathon at the Vermont City Marathon Relay by running a 2:10.21 which is 6 min faster than my previous PR. I have been working really hard to make sure that I am ready for the Lake Placid Ironman. I am obviously invested and training well because I am having mini-meltdowns about training and freaking out about biking and putting together a proper race day nutrition plan. As part of our training, Joe and I signed up for Ironman Mont Tremblant 70.3 after spending a couple days there last summer and not having a very good time training (that sounds like a ridiculous idea but welcome to my ridiculous life). The week before leaving, I had a difficult long ride where I got a flat, had a nice Canadian change it for me, and the last hour ended up being cold and wet. Actually it was so cold that I couldn't feel my hands or feet and a guy from the Rye Tri Club was so worried he got back to his car and was coming to get me! He found me at my car trying to get my bike back on the car. Then the next day my pedals broke. I had a new pair put on and my knee ended up bothering me. I have also been struggling with an ab strain that I just can't seem to get a handle on. I started to freak out about the race the entire week before the race. I was freaking out about even making the bike cut off at Ironman Lake Placid. I started thinking that maybe I was too hasty in signing up for an Ironman that was only a year and three months since my last cancer treatment - maybe I wasn't improving quickly enough for this very big event. 140.6 is very daunting to me - it was the first 2 times, and it continues to be now. We travel to Mont Tremblant on Friday. When we got there and went to check in, I noticed how fit and fast everyone looked. I started freaking out that I wasn't going to finish. (Welcome to my pre-Ironman jitters!!) My fears were not helped when I went for a run where I was passed by extremely fast people - men and women alike - and my knees were still really bothering me. Saturday, I ended up not feeling very well. My eyes hurt. My knees hurt. I was exhausted. I actually took 2 naps just because I was exhausted. Sunday, I woke up and was extremely nervous. I realized that I wanted to go into it with no expectations but I just can't figure out how to let go of my expectations and just have a great time out there. I am working harder than I have ever worked and I want my results to show how hard I am working. I had a mini-meltdown in a porta potty before putting my wetsuit on when they played "Beautiful Day" by U2 - all you Ironmen know how this song is important to Ironman starts. I was freaked out about the swim and the swim start - my first race swim of the season. I was trying to just calm down and just couldn't figure it out. Joe kept telling me "It is just a long training day." I tried to believe him. Then the swim went off! The swim started well. I had great lines to the bouys. The water was great. It wasn't choppy. I had space. Then it changed. The fast people in the wave behind me also had my great line and ran into me. I was catching the slower swimmers in front of me. The people around me couldn't figure out how to swim in a straight line. I was getting hit and grabbed. I would be fighting for space then try to pick up the pace, find some space and settle in, just to do it all again. I was surprised by how much contact there was in the swim. The swim felt like it took forever. 44:35 - not so bad. I was happy to be out of the water and heading to the bike. The Transition zone was sooooooo long but there were wetsuit peelers aka strippers - that made me happy. I just kept running after having been stripped of my wetsuit. The fun of this was hearing "Bravo" and "Allez! Allez! Allez!" from all of the French Canadian spectators. It was great! I ran by Joe's bike and noticed that he was already gone. This means that he swam pretty well and passed me in the water! He was probably one of the people who hit me! I thought "Go Joe Go!" When I got to my bike I put on tons of sunscreen because I knew it was not shaded at all on the highway that awaited me and it was extremely sunny! I ate a potato and headed out! I spent 7:05 running to transition and in transition. The bike goal was to feel comfortable the entire way, nail down some nutritional strategy, and feel like I could run off of the bike. I actually enjoyed the bike. I had gone for a ride on the course when we visited Mont Tremblant last August so I understood the different parts of the course and knew where I wanted to hold back and why. The first part was all about fueling and the last 15K was all about riding hills in an intelligent manner. I think I did that. I was happy on the bike the entire time. I fueled not exactly perfectly but I learned a lot about what I think I need to do and what needed to change. It wasn't my fastest 70.3 bike but it wasn't horrible either. I thought it was a reasonable course and enjoyed seeing everyone riding on the out-and-backs and loved the aid station volunteers - they were so excited and amazing! 3:59:29 was my final time. I would have liked it to be faster but I felt great after the bike so I think I succeeded. Transition was better this time. Again, I put sunscreen on because it was sunny and I really couldn't deal with sunburn. I ended up with a 3:38 T2. The run started and I was smiling and felt light on my feet. The spectators were excited about everyone! Mont Tremblant loves cheering for Ironman competitors. Immediately I was trying to find my pace. What I forgot was that we were in Canada and the race was measured in kilometers! I don't know my pace per kilometer and I couldn't do math at this stage in the race. I wanted to go out more slowly because I knew the first 5K was rolling hills and then it is slightly downhill to the end of the bike path and slightly uphill back to the old village and rolling hills the last 5K. I went out too fast. I had no idea how fast I was going. I was trying to figure out what pace I should have been running but, again, I couldn't do math. At 15K, I started to slow. I was just rolling along and felt fantastic. Then, I was just running and counting down the last 6K. The last 2 hills were extremely difficult but I pushed through them. I found Joe just before we entered the pedestrian village and I had nothing left. The downhill finish started right around there and the crowds yelling in French were amazing. The finish line was great. I finished to fireworks! I had no idea how fast my half marathon was at this point but I figured it out the next day - 2:17.16 which is just wonderful for me! My total time was 7:12.03. More importantly, I finished thinking that I am actually going to be able to finish Ironman. I also would love another attempt at this course. It is close to where I was in 2009 when I did my first Ironman and I think this course was more challenging than the course I did then and I was only a couple of seconds off of my time there. It was 6 min slower than my fastest 70.3 in 2010 but I felt better after this one than I did after the 2009 and 2010 70.3s. Which means I can get back to training more quickly than I was able to before. More importantly, I have improved in the swim, bike, and run since last August when I did Rev3 Main Old Orchard Beach. I took 27 min off of my overall time since then. Not bad for less than a year between the two events. I love that my body is improving every day. Mont Tremblant and Ironman put on a great event. It was phenomenal. When I found Joe at the end he was excited for me but then he told me his time (4:38)! This time was beyond what we expected from the day for him! It was a great surprise. The biggest surprise came when we found out he qualified for the Ironman 70.3 World Championships in September back in Mont Tremblant. This made our weekend! I couldn't be more proud of my super speedy husband and all of his efforts. He is having a phenomenal year: Boston marathon (PR, re-qualified for 2015), 70.3 PR and qualification, next up Ironman Lake Placid, and then the 70.3 Ironman World Championships! This is an awesome, amazing and I am just so happy to be with him through it all!

A letter to cancer

On February 13, 2012, I was given a cancer diagnosis. In that moment I was forced to say (in the words of Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother)"Challenge accepted!" I was forced to fight for my life. And I did. I do not wish this happened to me but it has. As I approached this date 2 years later, I was struggling with how I felt about this day, what it did to my life, and I decided to write a letter to cancer to tell it what I feel. Here it goes. Dear Cancer, Thank you! I know that this sounds weird but thank you. You tried to take things away from me but instead you gave me a more complete outlook on life. You tried to make me weak but you failed. Instead you made me stronger. I said I gave you a year of my life but I lied. I gave you 11 weeks and then I fought really hard to run and bike throughout treatment and once chemo was over, I trained for a marathon. Then I trained for a 70.3 triathlon. I did more training in 2013 than I did in 2011 (see stats below). And now I'm training for an Ironman. And after that, it just gets bigger and better. You gave me two mantras that motivate me beyond every possible excuse my mind could imagine - "I've been through worse" and "All I wanted was to do this during treatment so get your f#@*ing ass in gear." You tried to give me excuses but I refused to allow for that to happen - I don't have an excuse, as Scott Jurek said in his book Eat and Run, "Sometimes you just do things." You tried to break me down but instead I grew stronger. I am stronger mentally and physically than I was prior to my diagnosis and I LOVE it! You thought you took away my confidence in my body image but you didn't. I am happier with how I look today, scars and all, than I did the day I was told you were trying to wreak havoc on my life. I've also lost all the weight I put on while trying to defeat you and now weight less than I did before you came into my life. You tried to take away my competitive edge but you couldn't. I am a fighter and I wouldn't allow you to take it away. I still may not be fast but I want that finish line of races more than I've ever wanted it before and I am working harder than I've ever worked before to get there. Not only that, but now I have a team and a coach that expect great things from me - nothing can stand in my way, not even you! You tried to take away my joy for living but I wouldn't let that happen. I make sure I do everything in my day to make me happy. I love my life. I can honestly say that even with cancer in my life in my 30's, these have been my favorite years. You tried to take away opportunities that would make my life more full but you failed. I've actually had more opportunities come my way post cancer than I did pre-cancer because I am more open to opportunities that present themselves to me. I have met wonderful people through this that I wouldn't have met before. I was asked to "star" in a commercial which was just a blast and a half to be a part of. You tried to make me scared but you didn't. I understand the concept of living one day at a time but that means I live each day like it is my last and I make sure to enjoy every moment I spend with my handsome and incredible husband, my family, and my friends. I'm not afraid. I am determined to be amazing. I am a ROCK STAR!!! So in closing, THANK YOU! You helped to stoke the fire inside of me to be the best possible me that I could be. I am not angry that you entered my life. I am joyful to have defeated you. You should have known that I was a badass chick with huge expectations from myself. Thank you for driving me forward to look at my dreams and not be afraid to pursue them. Thank you for reminding me that I want more than mediocre. I chose and choose to DANCE and I do that on a daily basis. Or more appropriately I chose and choose to SWIM, BIKE, RUN, and LOVE! This is what STRENGTH and PERSISTENCE looks like. This is just a reminder of who not to pick on in the future.

Thank you! * Stats from February 6, 2013 to December 31, 2013 not including the first two weeks of September after my port removal surgery: Swim: 55 miles in 37 hrs 27 min Bike: 1429.82 miles in 113 hrs 44 min Run: 528.23 miles in 99 hrs 50 min Race: 102.88 miles in 18 hrs 18 min