I'm on the bike

Yesterday marked 8 weeks post surgery and 25 doctors appointments since February 1. As a celebration of how far I've come, I asked my husband to put my bike on my trainer and I road for the first time since March 14! I only road for 10 minutes but I missed it very much! I also realized how extremely out of shape I am. It will be a long road back to marathon/Ironman shape. I do have to be careful not to extend my reach too far and hurt my stitches but I enjoyed the experience. I can't quite put my hands on my handle bars completely but I can use my aerobar arm pads to keep me up a little higher. I liked the challenge of it so much, I got back on today and I would spend 30 seconds on the handle bars then up on the aerobar pads. No aero position for me yet. Maybe I can do more tomorrow and then add on 5 minutes next week! I can't wait for the pain associated with my first run which is coming soon! I know it will be difficult going through chemo and starting to run and bike again but I can't wait for that challenge.

One more week

The good news: I am healing. On the outside, everything is closed. He attempted to remove a stitch and said that they are too involved in the healing matrix to take them out and expect the incision to stay closed. So, in the stitches stay until...maybe next week? He also commented that although I am worried about my range of motion (I'm worried that I won't recover all of my motion completely and it will have a negative impact on my swimming), I am doing extremely well with my movement. The bad news: I am healing at sloth speed. I guess this isn't surprising. I did 2 Ironman Lake Placid's in 16 hrs 24 min and 16 hrs 9 min with only a 10 minute cushion between the when I finished the bike and the bike cutoff time. I always said it was because I was getting my money's worth out on the course! Now, I guess I'm getting my money's worth out of my surgeon. I need to convince my body that this isn't the way to do things anymore in both healing and Ironman. The good news: We have a new method of dealing with my stitches which is more involved but should speed healing. I have lots of gauze, betadine, and paper tape in my future. The bad news: I can't start chemo tomorrow. I need to show more progress in healing to start chemo which will stop or slow the healing process. The good news: I can go trap shooting this weekend without any concerns for feeling tired or getting sick! I can watch a couple more softball and t-ball games for my nieces and nephew. I can help celebrate J's birthday and go to a Clown's on Rounds event without worry of how I will feel. I think I will also be able to go to Lila, Kaelah, and Sierra's exploration fair at their school. Other news: I still cannot run but we discussed a not so far removed run start date. I just need to heal some more. My concern is that I have been not running for 8 weeks this Wednesday and I am going to start running again while I am starting chemo - this sounds like a recipe for disaster. I may attempt to get on my bike on the trainer this week and just keep my upper body as non-weight bearing on my handle bars as I possibly can - this was discussed with some acknowledgement that it isn't a horrible idea. My doctor didn't use the words yes or no so I'll take that as a "you can try". I better run or bike until the day I die 50 to 60 yrs from now because I will try my hardest to never go this long without a run or bike ride - I am going crazy without it. Based on my lack of running, I have to cancel my Lake Placid Marathon registration for June and Boilermaker is on the chopping block. Due to my lack of normal exercise and my increase in meat intake to help with healing, my ankylosing spondylitis is flaring up though so my toes, fingers, back, and hips are all really painful. This is making it harder for me to sit still/not run. I had a couple of difficult moments this week too. My niece Sierra finished her softball game and came running over toward me to give me a hug. She stopped mid-stride, turned to my mom and asked in a hushed tone "Can I hug Kelly?" I wanted to cry. It made me so sad. I don't want them to see me as broken and they do. She did come over and give me a gentle hug but it wasn't what she normally would have done and I would have picked her up normally too. Lila was so excited to ask me to go to her school and help with a cow eye dissection but it is next Tuesday and I had to say no. I would have loved to go, although the thought of 6th graders with scalpels is petrifying to me. I barely trust my 10th graders to use them appropriately. I have learned that I hate walking. It is not running which is what I really want to do. I realize that I am doing much more than most people would be doing just in my everyday movements/walking around to do things but I'm not like everyone else - I'm an Ironman. We don't get excitement out of just walking. I did decide that I will be back on my bike by June 2. I asked my doctor about this and he said he sees that being later than he would think which is uplifting. So, May 15 is my new chemo start date. Positive healing thoughts all week long and some light gardening - that should help me out too!