Vermont City Marathon 2013

Instead of doing a traditional race report I decided to do a list of things I learned during the Vermont City Marathon! So, here it goes: 1. Marathons hurt and I remembered how strong I am when I just kept trucking especially while running into a head wind with rain pelting your face. 2. I went out too fast. If you are a former athlete of mine reading this, you will be laughing since all I used to tell you is "Don't go out too fast". I should take my own advice. 3. I love my running mantras. I employed all of them over and over again. Especially the one "If I'm smiling, it doesn't hurt that badly!" 4. I love the feeling of a finish line! There is nothing like it. 5. I have great friends and family who cheered me on while watching the race in Burlington, while waiting for texts from my husband to see how I was doing, while running the marathon and yelling to me when they saw me, and who decorated my house in celebration of my accomplishment. 6. I am capable of dealing with a lot of nasty weather (rain, wind, 41 degrees) for a long time (5 hrs and 11 min of it to be exact). 7. I loved every minute of every mile of the race and can't wait to do it again! 6 marathons complete, 5 states down, 45 plus DC to go! But I think I'll do an Ironman before I get to the 7th! 7. The last and most important: This wasn't about cancer and conquering cancer when I finally hit the starting line. This was about me being back in the place where I belonged. Where I fit in. I'm BACK!

DONE

I am officially done with cancer treatments! I am extremely excited! April 30 will have a very exciting meaning for a long time. It is the first day of the rest of my life. I decided a celebration was in order. What does that mean to me? It was an 1800 yard swim before work, an 8.88 mile bike ride, followed by a 2 mile run. This was my first brick workout since August 2011 (I think). Why did I decide to do this? Because I can. I was really excited to see a bald eagle on the run as well. It was fantastic. I am not usually a person who believes in symbolic things but I just thought that this was really cool. The symbol of our nations freedom. The bird that was almost extinct and made a comeback was just flying by as I was running my first brick since 2011. Wow! I am also super excited that my marathon training is at its peak for the last treatment. I am doing a 20 miler this weekend and then I am running a marathon May 26th!!! Wow!! I'm extremely excited and fueled internally by a fire that just gets bigger everyday! What a way to celebrate me being alive!! Here's to my freedom, my rebirth, and my comeback!!! April stats are fantastic too!!! Swim: 5.22 miles in 3 hrs 31 min Bike: 165.55 miles in 13 hrs 33 min Run: 106.02 miles in 19 hrs 57 min Total: 276.79 miles in 37 hrs 01 min (not bad for a chick that was going through cancer treatments)

3 to go

I am in all regards "back to normal" except that I am still in treatment once a week. I love that I am training again. I love that I am seeing muscles come back that I haven't seen in a while. I love that my body is responding to training again. I love that I feel better every day. The past few weeks I have started to be resentful of my time in the treatment room, in that chair. I lose 2 hrs each and every week at least to driving to and from an appointment and sitting in a chair and having chemicals pumped into my body. As the weather is getting better and my training intensifying, I am getting more antsy about giving up my time to sit in a chair and have chemicals pumped into my body. I would rather be outside on my bike. I would rather be doing work at school so that I can get out and take a run without wondering when I can get it accomplished. I resent that place for taking my time away from me. I resent cancer for allowing this to happen to me. I feel like my body is repaying me in some ways by allowing me train for 10 hrs a week but I am still not done with cancer treatment. I know that I am doing this to make sure that I have fought cancer and won. But I really just want my life back. I don't blame my oncology nurses for this. They are fantastic. They are the only reason I can endure the time there without really being resentful. Today just was even more irritating because it was beautiful outside and all I wanted to do was go outside and run and I had not only an infusion but also a doctors appointment. There was a 3 hr time suck from my day with 2 hrs at the office and 1 hr of driving time. I have over the past several years made it a priority to not have doctors appointments during the spring or the summer because of my training schedule. Cancer has changed that but I will ultimately get control back soon. So, I have three weeks left. Then if you need me on a Tuesday afternoon, you can be assured I will be doing something challenging and fun, not sitting in a chair!

March Stats

March has been a really great month for me. At this point last year, I was recovering from surgery and now I am in the middle of training for a marathon. I went outside for the longest ride since July of last year and by far the most difficult ride I have taken since the fall of 2011 (19.9 miles on the last day of the month). There are moments when I am doing a 13 miler (yes, I completed my first 13.1 mile run in March since last Jan 1, 2012) or doing speed work or doing sets in the pool (I completed my longest swim since Jan 2012 of 1800 yards this month as well) where I can't even believe what I am doing 7 months post chemo and, more importantly, while going through cancer treatment still! That is amazing to me. I love that my body was capable of doing this. I look back though and realize that I didn't give it an option. I wanted to be back here so badly that I made it happen. Mental toughness is truly most of my success and I knew I had it in me prior to cancer but cancer just made me even more tough. I love when people I haven't seen in a while ask me how running is going and I tell them that I train for the marathon and a 70.3 between 8 and 9 hrs a week and their faces can't register this craziness! I'm extremely satisfied with how things are going and I am excited to see how April goes! So, here are my stats for the month of March - I am extremely pleased!!! Total time training: 32 hrs 22 min with 272.7 miles. Swim miles:5.97 in 4 hrs. Bike miles: 186.9 miles in 13 hrs 30 min. Run miles: 79.83 miles in 14 hrs 53 min.

March 15 - 1 year since surgery

March 14, 2012 - I woke up, went to work, and was visited by most of my co-workers throughout the day. I left work early (after being told it was time for me to go by my partner in crime who knew I was trying to make sure all was in perfect order before I left my students to my substitute that I really didn't know - how stressful) and immediately felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. Why? I think it was because, although work was allowing me to escape from my reality of "cancer patient", it was really stressful to be planning, grading,and putting my teenage students needs in front of my own. I realized I was exhausted from it all. I went and had my sentinel node injection - I know what it would feel like to get my nipples pierced after that one (not that I have them anymore), not pleasant! I went home to take a nap. Then I went back had my scan and went for a really intense 4 mile run and came home to get on my trainer for 40 min, also really intense. I remember all parts of that day vividly. I remember what my body looked like, how it felt to push my body super hard, and how my mind actually found a calm place at the end of the day because the next day was finally the beginning of treating a disease that would potentially kill me if we didn't take action. March 15, 2012 - I woke up, put on my Ironman t-shirt, and Joe brought me to the hospital. I had a double mastectomy. Most of the day is gone to me. I remember a lot of it but there is a huge chuck of it that I was under anesthesia or doped up on a huge dose of morphine. March, 2013 - I have a lot of different feelings on me being "in treatment" for a full year. I don't want to dread March 15 for the rest of my life so I decided that we were going to have a lot of fun for the days surrounding March 15. I had dinner with girlfriends on Thursday. On Friday, I swam the longest swim I have done since January 2012, had a great dinner with my husband, and went to see some new friends. On Saturday, I RACED!!! I mean, full out race pace, want to puke at the end because I'm running at my race pace, RACED!! Runnin' of the Green - a race I couldn't do last year. I broke 40 (39:56) which is fantastic for a girl still in cancer treatment. The last time I did the race in 2011 I finished in 38:22 (my fastest time ever) so I think this is pretty exciting. I forgot how horribly wonderful race pace feels - almost like being beaten up by a bat and running. IT WAS AMAZING!!! Joe and I then had a ton of fun with our St. Patrick's Day celebration. I still have mixed feelings on this day. I said that cancer could have 1 year of my life and I still have 6 weeks left and one surgery in August. I get angry that I still have to go to treatment 1 year later. Although I love seeing my oncology nurses each week - I would prefer seeing them in a more social setting than when I am being infused with chemicals. That really bothers me. Cancer has given me things though too. I have met people who I would never have met if I had not been diagnosed with cancer. These people are great friends that understand me and things that I love including running! I have made connections that have made me a better person. I have inherited an internal drive that I feel like is on super speed. If I want something, I will make it happen. I know I am strong - there is no question in my mind of this after all I have been through. I have less stress in my life - surprisingly - but it is true because I know nothing is really worth that much stress. I love my husband more and more everyday because of all he is and all he has done for me. I have had so many funny things happen to me over the last year too. People can say some really stupid things to people with cancer. I have questions that I do not have answers to, and that is ok! I do not always need a plan anymore, although I will say that I would much prefer one - cancer didn't really change that about me! I must admit that although it has been a tough year that has changed me, I think I am a better person for it. So, we count down to the end of cancer treatments. After April 30, I will have some free time on my hands and after the end of September I will have a life ahead of me that does not include time off for cancer. So, technically 6 weeks until cancer treatments end and 23 weeks until my last surgery. 27 weeks until I am truly done!!!