My first 10K post cancer

On October 20, 2012, I completed my first 10K post cancer. This happened 7 months post surgery, 7 1/2 weeks post chemo, and after week 23 of herceptin treatments. I have been running "long" runs every weekend for the past 4 weeks. This makes me super happy as that is what we do as runners. This weekend was going to test me a bit since the furthest I had run prior to this was 5 miles at 12:25 pace. We showed up at the Great Pumpkin Challenge and were looking for familiar faces but were surprised to not see many but there were a lot of people there. I got to go through all of my normal pre-race traditions but I wasn't nervous at all. I wasn't going to try to PR today so the only thing I needed to do was run 6.2 miles. I found the porta potties. Said hello to a woman I met at my Monday night training group who was running her first 5k and found my friend Bethany. Bethany is another cancer survivor who will tell me what she is thinking without sugar coating anything when I have questions. She was going to run the 5K today. We walked over to the starting line talking about how I had signed up for the race not knowing if I would be able to run the 10K but knowing that I would have the option to bail at the 5K turn if I needed to but I wanted to run it so I was going to do it. As many of you know, if I want to do something, I will find a way to do it. I am stubborn. I also learned today that I am also very determined to have other people do what I want them to do with me - some may say "Bossy in a nice way" others say "Influential". I did not try to convince anyone to do this race with me though - this was all on my own. I need my mental time to deal with life and racing makes me focus and let all things in my mind go and I LOVE that! Bethany and I also discussed cancer research and how much of the cancer research is focused on post-menopausal women and little effort is made to find a way to focus on the QUALITY of life post cancer for women of our age just the QUANTITY of life. This frustrates both of us. The gun went off and we both went our separate ways. I knew that I needed to make this just another long run and not a race or else I would potentially crap out at the end. But... I love to race. I love to push myself. I love to feel my heart working. I love the pull of your muscles on the bones and propelling you forward. I love passing people and when they try to pace off of you, you kick it up and they can't hang. I love it all. The first mile was difficult - there were way too many people for Saratoga State Park. There were a ton of first time 5Kers who don't know race etiquette and the idea that if you are walking you start at the back, that if you are slower you start toward the back, that if you need to walk during the race you move toward the outside, that if a runner talks to you you don't ignore them, or that you shouldn't just stop in the middle of the road. So I was forced to weave around people almost immediately. The second mile we went on a path so we could get to the Avenue of the Pines. There were still so many people around I was weaving in and out. Once we turned down the Avenue of the Pines I saw Mary. I said hello and kept running! I was starting to warm-up around this point - this is not atypical of my pre-cancer body. I never was warm until mile 3 of most races/runs - which is why I hate 5Ks. I feel like my body is the same in this way and it gives me hope! I started to pick up the pace a little as we got back on the road and had less people around me. I watched as the 5Kers turned right and I went straight into what I knew was unknown territory for me - miles 3.1 to 6.2 which had some pretty nice hills. I knew there was potential for me to slow down a lot but wasn't worried about it at all - I just wanted to run this far. The race was so large that I had a massive group in front of me and a lot of people behind me. This is when I was extremely happy with my run. I am not good on hills at all right now (neither am I good with speed) but I will run them because I CAN! I felt strong. I was racing - not at my pre-cancer race pace but I was running faster than I normally do. I was passing people. I would see someone in front of me and plan to go get them. I was getting stronger as the race went on. The feeling was beautiful - this is the feeling runners long for and keep running to get on that special run where all things feel good. It was difficult in a good way. It was hard in a great way - I WAS RUNNING!!! I never had to convince myself to put one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward, it just happened. I felt great! While I was racing, I would go past people who were struggling (5K and 10Kers) and I would think, "How's it feel to be passed by a woman undergoing cancer treatments!" or "What is your reason for walking? Are you tired from cancer treatments?" I know these were mean thoughts. On the other hand though, I wore my hat the entire time. Not because I needed it, it was because I just wanted to be seen as a runner and not a cancer patient. I was passing people as Kelly, the RUNNER!!! I entered into the last part of the race and saw Bethany and was super excited to know what I had done post chemo. Bethany was the perfect person to run this part with me - she was as excited as I needed her to be because I recognize that this is big. A 5Ker was not me before cancer and won't be me after cancer. But when I can start racing a 10K, this means I am getting stronger and becoming a DISTANCE RUNNER again. I was not ready to give up my distance running career when I was diagnosed and this race made me believe that I can get it back. I will get stronger and faster in the next few months. I have lost 6 of the 20 lbs I put on and will take off the rest because I say I will. This race was a starting point for me. It was slow: 1:12.24. But I ran a negative split and got faster the longer I ran. I ran 5 miles 5 min faster than I ran 5 miles last weekend too. I love being part the running community again and can't wait to run races where I know most of the people in the race. I look forward to what is possible in my new running career!