Running Away From Cancer - 15K done!

I completed my first 15k post cancer surgery and chemo but while still undergoing cancer treatments today. I am really excited about this. I signed up for this race after I went for an 8 mile run with friends two weeks ago. The run that we went on felt easy for me so I figured, why the heck not do the race. I have been running this race since 2004 (with the exception of 2010 when we did the NYC Marathon). It has become a staple on my race calendar and as of September, I didn't think it was a possibility this year. When I realized it was, I felt like this would show that I am back to being a version of my old self (I can't help but believe that the old Kelly is gone but I truly believe a new, better version of myself is becoming visible.) I knew this would not be my fastest race but it would be really important to me to finish this race. I have said it before, I was not a 5K runner - that wasn't enough for me. My cancer diagnosis will never change the fact that I was a distance runner/triathlete. I am unwilling to give those things up. This race gives me one more moment to realize that I am going to be able to get back to that distance running form sooner rather than later. I was pretty stupid though the day before the race and looked at my time from last year - I was running some of my best times last year and I am nowhere near being in the shape that I would like to be in - but I needed to know what I had been capable of. After the race I looked up all of my Stockadeathon times to just compare (1:38.42 in 2011, 1:42.19 in 2009, 1.33.19 in 2008, 1:39.35 in 2007, 1:35.54 in 2006, 1:41.00 in 2005, and 1:34.14 in 2004). This year I ran a 1:43.57!!! My goal was anything under 1:50 but my BIG goal was 1:45 or under. I did it!!! This morning I woke up at around 7 since I live less than a 10 min drive from the starting line! I tried to make sure that I could use my own bathroom before the race. I drank my magnesium food rich smoothie (my magnesium levels are a little low so I have been drinking this smoothie once a day) and a bowl of Cinnamon Chex - yummy!!! My coffee went down nicely too and I felt optimistic about today although I had become nervous overnight. Once I got to the race, I found myself in the porta potty line (so much for the help of being at home and using the bathroom). I ran into a few people I knew and talked. Then I took off my outer layers while dreading going out into the slight drizzle with cold and a little headwind. Wasn't it supposed to be sunny and 60 today? The race started and there was a woman walking as fast as I was running. I will keep this post PG rated but my brain was not being so nice about this. Mile 1 11:23.08. I wanted to be conservative in the first 5 miles because of the HILLS that I knew were looming. It was already getting too warm to wear my hat and my sleeves though so I was hoping I would find my husband and ditch the hat soon. The next mile I heard my name and then saw Sara and Mark yelling for me!!! I didn't know they were coming!!! How exciting!! I loved knowing that they came out to cheer me on! I ditched my hat with them and started making sure I was going past people like Sara told me I should. Mile 2 after seeing them was pretty much downhill and I was trying to not let my desire to go my race pace (still slow but more difficult to maintain) take over even though I knew it was winning out over my reasonable side - 11:07.03. I was taking note that the new course was on roads I have never been on but that the first half had more small rolling hills than the former course had. Mile 3 I was trying to get away from a group of people who were pretty much yelling at each other because most of them had headphones on while running with their running partners and trying to carry on a conversation at the same time - 10:50.76. Not racing and only going out for a long run went out of the window! Mile 4 was pretty much on roads that I knew, a drummer on the side of the road, and my love of this race had me smiling. Plus, I realized I had successfully gotten away from the walker and the loud people but I could still hear them chattering behind me - 10:51.22. I was thinking that I would probably crash on the hills but I realized that I loved the feeling of "race pace" - being out of breathe, your muscles contracting forcefully, and your body working hard to go forward. I missed this incredibly! Mile 4 to 5 brought us through the Stockade which is always beautiful and the people are super excited to be spectating. It is also flat so my time wasn't as fast but I realized that I could break 1:45 if I just keep up the pace that I was going until we went uphill and then I just couldn't blow up and I would be fine - 11:03.90. Mile 5 to 6 we started the big climb. I knew it was coming but wasn't sure what to expect on the new course. This hill went up, then up some more, then up some more. I was breathing hard and kept saying to myself "This feels great! I've been through so much worse than this and this is a GREAT pain!!" I was even excited in my mantras to myself. Up the hills I still ran an 11:23.22. The 10K mark lead to a nice flatish part of the course through the cemetery which was beautiful and quiet. But then we climbed again. I knew though that once I was up this hill it was pretty much flat and the Sara and Mark were waiting for me there. Mile 7 - 11:37.84. Sara and Mark were waiting at the top! A little arm pump of excitement and Sara telling me to pass the 6 people in front of me and I went. I was loving the pain of running fast!! People are afraid of this but not me. I learned before cancer that if I pushed past my limit then someone would be there to pick me up but I would be proud to say that I pushed for my goal. I was back in that same place today. I LOVE TO RACE!!! I may not be fast but I push myself hard and I love the way it makes me feel. I haven't really done this since last February! I picked off 6 people while going down the little hill. Mile 8 - 11:38.55. I saw Josh running toward me and I had a smile on my face (like I did most of the race - this was a fantastic experience for me). He left his running partners and came over and cheered me on even telling me how he knew how much this meant to me and that made me run even faster. I was picking people off left and right! This meant so much to me and I had great people waiting for me at the finish line!! I was running much faster than I have run post cancer surgery and chemo and I could feel every moment of it. I kept telling myself that I know how bad I can feel from chemo and I have been through worse and this is cake compared to that. I wanted this so much! I was hitting my edge of how fast I could go and was wondering if I could make it at this pace but there was no way I was giving up this pace unless I absolutely had to. I rounded the park and saw Sara and Mark again! I pushed even harder. I was angry that the couple behind me would run hard, then she would whine and complain then they would stop and walk and then run by me again - I just wanted to yell at her "You don't know what pain feels like buttercup! Suck it up! A woman going through cancer treatments is kicking your ass!" But instead I smiled knowing what I was accomplishing. Mile 9 - 10:45.17. I pushed harder since I was only 0.3 miles away from the finish line. I could hold this pace for a max of 4 min right?? I rounded the pond and saw my cousin Stacey and just smiled! I did it! I saw Mark and Sara and smiled even bigger! I did it!! The last 0.3 miles in 3:16.50. I broke my goal and am super excited about it!!! What did I do in celebration? I went home and took a nice bath and then a nice, long nap!!! What a great day! I'll be sore tomorrow but it is worth it! I missed racing. Next up, Rothman 8K in Philly next weekend and the Troy Turkey Trot 10K and possibly the 5K as well with some friends! Then we start the new year with the Hangover Half! It's going to be a great end to the year - I have a feeling!