End of the year recap

A lot of people would expect me to say that I was excited 2012 was over and it wasn't a good year. There are a lot of things that changed in my life this year and I look forward to a new beginning in 2013 but it wasn't a bad year. Not even close, it was an potentially the most important year of my life. I had a lot of positives happen to me this year. I was able to meet some very special people that have changed my world. Some of these people wouldn't have entered my life without a cancer diagnosis and others would have any way you look at it but either way these people have enhanced my life. I realized how much I love running, biking, and (to a lesser extent) swimming aka triathlons. I fought really hard all year to make sure that running played a part in every aspect of my life and I will fight to keep running for the rest of my life. It is my sanity. Triathlon and running has also given back to me. These sports have allowed me to see my progress over the past year. The people who I get to meet through triathlons and running have made me feel accepted and have allowed me to know that I am part of the sporting community that means so much to me. Not that we weren't each others biggest fans before, but my husband and I have fallen more in love over the last year and he is my biggest supporter. I love our life together and couldn't wish for anything more. I learned how tough I am. I was a tough cookie before but now I feel like I can kick ass in anything I decide is worth it. I have learned more about myself than most people would want to know about themselves. These revelations about myself has allowed me to prioritize things as well. I have learned to say no. I have learned to accept help when I need it. I now have even more motivation to do things that make me happy. I have learned over many years but even more so this year that nothing external can make you happy if you aren't happy inside. (My husband would say I sound like Dr. Phil with that one!) I've learned that I need to look for the positives in everything and let things go when they don't need to be held onto. I've learned to self-advocate for what I want from situations. I've learned that if you want something, just ask. What's the worst that could happen, they could say no but more often than not, they say yes. Of course, I had cancer so I got a lot of yes' this year as a byproduct (I'm not proud of that one - I'd rather earn what I want than be given it). There are negatives too. 1st of all, I had cancer - that sucked! I learned that I am intolerable when I can't run - I'm sorry to all that had to deal with me during that time. My life will be forever different. I morn for the person I was and struggle daily to figure out who I will become. I learned that death is a part of life that we all need to deal with. This has also taught me to enjoy every moment of every day because you never know. I've learned that adults have to make difficult decisions about their health sometimes. I've also learned that when you make those difficult decisions, you cannot look back and have regrets. (Thank you Mary for this one!) I'm not always good at this one but I am trying. I've learned that life isn't always fair. I've learned that not everyone that you thought was important in your life is and may of those people are emotionally draining. My body betrayed me this year. This was extremely difficult to deal with. I was extremely sick (even though many people had no idea how sick I was most of the time). I would say that my body has shown great resilience though. I will acknowledge that I have been able to accomplish amazing things since chemo ended in August - my body has done things that some people take years to accomplish or feel they never could in the 4 months post chemo. I am proud of how hard I work everyday to make sure I am working toward my goals. I know that all of the negatives will result in positive outcomes in my life, I just need to be patient. As for my end of the year stats that I usually post, I don't really have anything to post since I didn't log most of my miles this year. I didn't log any miles between March and November. I was sporadic about logging them in the program I use from November until the end of the year and from the date of my diagnosis until I had surgery. Here is what I have logged in the program though: Swim: 2.66 miles in 1 hr 56 min (I know I didn't swim much more than this this year!). Bike: 302.25 miles in 21 hrs 52 min. Run: 186.8 miles in in 33 hrs 29 min. Other miles: 2.85 miles (no idea what I did off the top of my head) in 2 hrs 30 min. Total miles: 494.56 miles in 59 hrs 47 min (2 days 11 hrs 47 min). I must say that even with cancer, I beat a lot of people in miles logged this year. For the upcoming year, I have goals. Finish the Key Bank Vermont City Marathon and Rev3 Old Orchard beach. Finish Herceptin treatments in May. Get my port taken out in August. Sign up for an Ironman! Live each day to its fullest. Learn from others. Learn from myself. Make sure I am healthy and happy! I have a bright future. Although I will not start the year completing a half marathon due to a slight injury and two illnesses, I will start the year running and that is all that matters. I hope you will do the same. Happy New Year!