I'm running again!

I received a phone call early Thursday morning saying that my appointment with my surgeon had to be changed because he had an emergency surgery. The secretary wanted to see me immediately. I was supposed to go to yoga but I knew this appointment was going to be a good one and he was going to finally allow me to run again. So I made the decision to skip yoga and go to hear him say I could run again - with limitations. It was the best decision I made that day. I was cleared to run short distances. Not my idea of short distances (6 miles), the rest of the worlds idea of short distances - 1/4 mile and work up little by little. I was also told I couldn't run 2 days in a row. My first run was that night. I went out and it was bliss! I hit 1/4 mile and just couldn't stop. It hurt and was slow and the breeze on my now bald head was amazing. I stopped at 1/2 mile in 6:09 - holy slow. But it was everything I wanted it to be. I am so happy to be running again! Joe is also happy I'm running again. He knows it is my therapy sessions. I am also now sleeping through the night again since starting to run and bike! This is a wonderful thing. So since my first run on Thursday, I did a 1 mile run in Keene Valley in 11:45 on Saturday, a 1.25 mile run on Monday in 14:22, and participated in National Running day today, the day after chemo, the day after I had another allergic reaction with a different anti-nausea drug and feel pretty horrible, 1.0 miles in 12:34 - I'll take it. It helped clear my head and got rid of my nausea for a short period of time. And if you are going to say to me did you clear that with your doctor, yes, I did. At my appt today she encouraged me to do a short run as it has been shown that people who workout have less nausea. She was also really excited that I am now sleeping through the night because of my running and biking - so please don't tell me I'm overdoing it. I am loving my runs! My hair fell out last week too! Joe and I had a fun time with the shaving! 1st a mohawk and then we just got rid of it. I honestly love being bald, it is liberating - showers are so easy and the wind on your head is lovely. It is also very cold. I will admit that people do double takes all the time and are kind-of rude just watching me but I've gotten used to the looks. I also have become a beacon to others with cancer. I've been approached a few times in public places to ask me about my doctors or oncologists or just say good luck to me during treatment. I guess when you decide to go bald, you accept this as your place in the universe. Here are some pictures of my baldness.

Needles! 3 weeks down!

My hatred for needles has been solidified during this process. I have devised plans to make sure that I am not poked with a needle more than once a week. The port is great though. It allows me to be able to not feel much during treatment while still being functional. I was hopeful I would get used to the needles so that I can get my M-dot tattoo after all of this but I hate needles. I guess I'll just have to suck it up at some point. On a positive note, on Thursday I felt like a switch was hit inside of me and I felt much better. So much better that I rode my road bike for 10 miles on both Friday and Saturday. A perk of not training for anything was that I was able to say yes to my 11 yr old niece Lila when she asked if she could go for a bike ride with me. It was fun to ride with her without thinking I had to go further or faster. She was hysterical on the bike too. She would be right with me chatting away and then all of a sudden way behind me looking into the woods and then she would be out of breath behind me because she decided to ride as hard as she can in order to catch up. I can only hope she will be a triathlete at some point in her life! Joe and I also spend a lot of time in the garden weeding. Joe did most of the heavy work. The weeding was so involved which sucked but now it is ready to be planted - next weekend! This week has also been fun because I am cooking for myself since my ability to taste is still off. I get to experiment with what I like and what I don't like and then tailor everything to make sure I can taste what I want. Yoga was also on the schedule last week. It was great to be doing yoga again but was disappointed that this was a slower easier yoga class than I have been doing in the past and easier and I still couldn't do all of the poses. I know I will get better at it as I try every week. So, I will go back again this week. I have a week to be healthy and feel good before we give me toxic chemicals again. I plan to enjoy it. My hair is beginning to fall out so a shaving of my head is coming as well. I expect good things from this week!

Chemo and me

I realized that the day after chemo makes you almost feel invincible. The steroids they give you during chemo makes you feel great the day after chemo and then all things change. Thursday was a really tough day. I woke up and moved my head and wanted to puke. Thursday was the last day of all of the steroids and anti-nausea drugs though so I figured it would get better from there. I hate taking medications if I don't need them so I was really hoping I wouldn't have to take the anti-nausea meds after Thursday. I realized on Thursday that I had no interest in eating but if I didn't eat, I was extremely sick to my stomach. I did go out and walk the Workforce Team Challenge though that night which was good because I was moving but difficult because I also realized that chemo makes you dehydrated and I was needing water at water stops through the race. I was told that the worst days would be days 2 and 3 after chemo so I was excited for Friday and things to get better. I woke up without wanting to be sick and had only slight nausea through the day. We had decided to go to the camp for the weekend but that meant being in a car for 2 hrs. As a person who already gets car sick, this was going to be a challenge. We learned that if we stop and get out of the car half way through the drive and eat, then I tend not to get as sick. I started to develop a rash through Friday night and a severe headache. This is exactly the same feeling I had after surgery. I started to think back to the drugs they gave me during surgery and which ones they gave me during chemo and found that zofram was the common link. So, I elected to not take anti-nausea meds all weekend to get rid of my rash and headache. (As a side note, my doctors have all yelled at me for this saying that I need not be sick or have a headache.) I did realize that after the steroids are out of your system you do get tired too. Nap time is great but I am not completely exhausted all of the time. I did get out on my mountain bike on the road for the first time this weekend. I haven't ridden my mountain bike in years but it was wonderful! The wind through my super short hair, the feeling of propelling yourself forward. It was so nice. The nausea continued through the weekend. Nothing tastes right. I don't really want any food. It is sad but works best when I just go to a restaurant and have a limited amount of foods to choose from and just pick something and then eat some of it. Preparing my own food is hit or miss. I am really happy to be cooking with Joe because I can do all of the prep work (again, I am trying to get back to "normal" and I used to cook all of the time so this is important to me to be able to cook for myself again) and then Joe can cook the food so I can leave the kitchen while it heats up. The smell of cooking food is not always a helpful thing for me. I am also surprised by what I like and what I don't. Pasta, tomatoes, sweets, and I have been not a great combination but salty things, which I never really loved before, are very exciting to me - think pregnant women and pickles!! I didn't realize how much my life would end up revolving around food in such a different way than it ever did with training. I have been really focusing on making sure I am eating lots of whole grains, high quality foods to make sure that my diet isn't hindering my recovery. This isn't much different than before but because of my lack of food intake, I am trying to concentrate my nutrients into the best foods possible. I had two doctors appointments this week too. My surgeon has taken out all of my stitches! But we had to add some steri strips again since I still have two areas that are taking their sweet time in healing. He has given me permission to ride my road bike outside. I had ridden the mountain bike because of the position of the breaks and I thought it would be better on my incision so having him say that I could ride the road bike outside makes me very happy. Now I need to get the bike rack on the car!!! My oncologist has adjusted my antinausea meds and we will see how this works. So far so good. Although I am not hungry, I am not sick to my stomach which is fantastic. We are hoping that the headache will subside as zofran is eliminated from my body. We are also monitoring my feet for neuropathy through the next cycle. The amount of medications I am currently taking is ridiculous and it is really hard to pinpoint which meds are having which effects because I was exposed to 8 different new medications in 3 days last week. My 2nd Herceptin treatment went well but I was exhausted after treatment. Between being tired from chemo and then giving me benadryl during the treatment, I was knocked out. Well, at least we know what is to come. My body will adjust and adapt. I will see how the second round of chemo hits me and then I feel like I can plan around what I will feel like and what I can do.

Post chemo day1 (or day 2 if you are an oncologist)

Felt a little tired last night when we got home from the infusion suite then went to bed and was wide awake! This I found out was a side effect of the steroid they are giving me. I was so comfortable in my bed though that I didn't want to leave it. I finally decided not to bother my husband any more so I went down into my recliner and just sat there reading facebook and my email. I am having a few side effects from chemo - my feet felt like they were on fire last night and they are worried that is an early sign of neuropathy so they are going to potentially change my dose. I was a little pink/rosy from the steroid they are giving me too. I am also already not a fan of any food or drink that is hot or super sweet - it doesn't taste very good to me. I have a feeling like I am slightly car sick but I was in a car being driven around all afternoon so I may have been slightly car sick. I popped a ginger mint and felt better immediately. But I feel good. I don't feel like me, but a slightly altered version of me. I am taking my anti-nausea drugs. I am keeping my skin clean and moist to prevent skin peeling. I am using my biotene toothpaste and rinsing with ACT dry mouth to prevent mouth sores. I am really hoping I can just cruise through this. My surgeon saw me quickly and unexpectedly today while I was going to get my neulasta shot just to check in on my healing and he was really excited that I am still healing well. I am definitely feeling like I am a pin cushion now - soon enough a tattoo will follow so I might as well get used to being poked by needles. I have learned to request a specific nurse every time I am getting my port accessed or my neulasta shot - she is just better at it than the other nurses. So, I feel like things are going smoothly right now! I hope it keeps up!

1 down 52 weeks left to go

Round 1 of 6 treatments of Carboplatin and Taxotere complete. Round 1 of 52 treatments of Herceptin complete! It was a long day but it was also an easy day. I had packed up my "chemo bag" yesterday - blanket, all medications for nausea and asthma, lotion, lots of hard candy, lip balm, sanitizing wipes, book, garden planning stuff, and things to make Shauna's training plan. I was over prepared for the day (how unusual) and was convinced I would be made fun of for bringing so much. My oncologist said that young people read everything and are always more prepared than others - this is how I felt today. The day started when I realized I didn't put my lidocane cream on my port to numb it up so I tried to open the horribly designed tube in the car and I pushed too hard on the bottom and the top shot off and flew across the car. Joe got it all over his leg. It got all over the shifting column. A few minutes later, Joe said, "Well, it works because my shin is numb." The problem was my port was not. We got to the infusion room, found my seat even though I refused to sit at this moment, told our story, and I was given better instructions on how to put it on so I will go numb and then given a big ice pack to numb the port. The insertion of the needle into the port was much better this time! I am so happy to have skilled nurses available to me. In order to prevent skin peeling on my hands, we iced my hands while getting the taxotere for an hour. Joe went and got me lunch and a newspaper during carboplatin. Other than the horrible metallic taste associated with the saline rinse, I started to get a slightly nasty taste at the end of the carboplatin treatment and during herceptin. I had tons of candy with me (options just in case I wanted something specific). I ended up only wanting the organic lemon honey or apple hard candy which aren't as sweet as the others. I drank about 64 oz of water while I was there - I drink water when I get bored and I had access to it over the 5 hrs I was there. I also am convinced that if I drink enough water, my kidneys will function really well through this process and I will rinse the bad drugs out of my system at an appropriate rate so that they aren't just sitting there in my system. I feel extremely hydrated now! I only sat for short periods of time though through the day. I hate to sit. I even got to do laps around the infusion suite - I need a pedometer to figure out how long a loop is so I can walk a mile while I'm there. I was given strict rules that I couldn't leave the suite though! The nurses thought it was funny that I would just stand in my little area and do things - I just couldn't sit there for 5 hrs. Things went really well though. My only side effect right now if a little joint pain, a little tired, and I am a little more pale than normal. I have decided that I will be perfectly fine during all of this with small amts of tolerable side effects to no side effects from chemotherapy. I refuse to have those side effects. I ended my journey through the first chemo session asking if I could bring my bike in for a treatment on the bike and they humored me saying that would be fun! They don't know me well enough to even give me false hope!!! Jay, I may ask to borrow the quieter trainer sometime soon!